CATEGORY: Memoir, Dream
AUTHOR INSIGHT: Brazil is a fictional place, in reality.
I close my eyes and awaken in my young husband's dream. He wants to be a fisherman off the coast of Bahia, Brazil. I want what he wants.
Now I'm with women all waiting for our men to return on that old fishing tub, Mas Linda. Everyone here thinks it's good luck my name is Linda, like the captain's wife. I think to myself, that old tub needs a lot more than luck.
I'm in a tin kitchen by the sea and they feed me soup made from fish heads. It is flavored with spices timed to explode in waves. First the mouth, then the throat, then the chest.
They laugh when I gasp and cough. Even their laughter is to the beat of samba . I don't mind being teased. It distracts me.
I love being here, truly. The air's so sweet I don't even want to exhale.
But all I can think about is where's that old tub.
http://sfbay.craigslist.org/forums/?ID=51268146
Now I'm with women all waiting for our men to return on that old fishing tub, Mas Linda. Everyone here thinks it's good luck my name is Linda, like the captain's wife. I think to myself, that old tub needs a lot more than luck.
I'm in a tin kitchen by the sea and they feed me soup made from fish heads. It is flavored with spices timed to explode in waves. First the mouth, then the throat, then the chest.
They laugh when I gasp and cough. Even their laughter is to the beat of samba . I don't mind being teased. It distracts me.
I love being here, truly. The air's so sweet I don't even want to exhale.
But all I can think about is where's that old tub.
http://sfbay.craigslist.org/forums/?ID=51268146
Keep the pacing between 1 & 2. You set up the possibility for so much more.
ReplyDeleteI understand there is 'more' material waiting to be uncovered here. Brazil is one place where a writer must be lush with physical details (my weakness). So I do intend to work on this more.
ReplyDeleteBut I don't quite get your 'pacing' comment, especially between 1 and 2, nor do I get what the pacing has to do with the more.
Any further comments in your usual style would be most welcomed.
Thanks!